Remus Remembers
by tomecat
Summary: A short story written shortly after the Potters' death


Remus Remembers

A moment. That's all it took. A twist of instants that led to the most tragic heroism to date. Each one built upon the last. It is impossible to pinpoint exactly when the first instant occurred, but we all knew when the most prominent ones happened. Although most people never knew the most important moments. The times when we were all still together, when we were all still happy.

I suppose I am the only one who could tell our story. Everyone else has been lost to the most terrible moments. I feel it is my duty to let you know just why you admired us so much. Maybe not myself, but certainly those who are lost. You mourned them because they were a symbol. I mourn them because they made up my favorite moments.

Made up………I really am alone.

When we were young, nothing was important. School took a backseat to our fun. Sirius and James seemed never to tire of wreaking havoc, Peter never tired of praising them, and I never tired of smiling. Only the looming prospect of my inner monster worried me. But even then, the moment my "sickness" was discovered by my friends was amazing. The moment they accepted me…my entire self was incredible. I thought acceptance was the most I could hope for, but then the instant came when they joined my transformations. Those moments I can never explain because………nobody else was there.

Maybe that is why I cling to my memories. Nobody else can take them away; they are the only aspect of my friends that I can own.

I also love the instants I witnessed. Sirius pinching the girls' backsides and wiggling his eyebrows and getting slapped. Peter working for hours just to finish one essay. James and Sirius rocketing around the Quidditch pitch. James dancing slowly with Lily while everyone else in the room jumped about to the booming music.

But even these I shared in. They needed my help. I needed to feel loved.

I remember when James asked me (rather sheepishly) to help him figure out how to propose to Lily. When Peter stayed up all night writing essays for me because I had to "visit my grandmother" when they were due. When Sirius bought Harry a leather jacket to match his own, and he bought me one as well because, "I needed help with the ladies."

Harry. Harry alone makes up so many of my moments. Somehow, even at James and Lily's wedding, I knew Harry wasn't far behind. Turns out I was right. We all waited at the hospital, hopelessly trying to stop James rampage on the nurses of St. Mungo's because he couldn't see his son be born. Sirius and I finally had to sweet-talk the nurses while Peter nicked the keys.

James cried when Harry was born. He held Harry in his arms, and introduced all of us to him. Then he let us hold Harry. He was so small, so fragile. James called us all Harry's uncles. We all cried; except Peter, he blubbered.

The Potter's were my family, the same as Sirius and Peter. The moments I spent with everyone in their…..our….home helped me forget the people I saw dying everyday. The people my friends put their lives on the line to defend. But in our house we were safe.

Now the last of the good moments. The best and worst night of our lives. Sirius dressed up as a devil. James was Tarzan (whoever that is), Lily was Jane (didn't know that one either), and Harry was a monkey. Peter was a mummy and somehow I had been talked into being a wolf. Sirius said it was that or a ballerina.

We took Harry to a costume party. James thought he needed a little bit of fun; after all, being cooped up in a house all day is boring. We spent the night laughing, the moments slipping away fast now. We hugged goodnight and left Lily to collect her husband and son sleeping on the couch.

I went home and ate candy, knowing I would never forget the moments of this Halloween, not knowing at the time the reason.

The moment I found out Lily and James were dead. The moment I heard Harry was still alive, though his parents were not. The moment Voldemort was no longer the Dark Lord. The moment I learned of Sirius obliterating peter, and Sirius wasting away in a place he didn't deserve. The instant that I never dreamed would happen. The instant in which, for the first time in years, I once again felt completely alone.

Now my life consists only of these moments. I sit, remember our past together, hoping to end the ceaseless pain that is my present. My……..our……..moments are all I have.


End file.
